Sleepless Nights
by L.A. Doyle
Summary: We all have those nights sleep simply won't come.  So does SG-1.  First up, Sam's POV in Fire and Water.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

This fic is a product of my own sleepless nights…and because I have nothing to work on since I finished writing my latest story, _Beyond the Night_. This may end up being a series; it may only be this one shot. I don't know, but I hope you enjoy.

**Sleepless Nights -Fire and Water**

Sam had turned off the bedside lamp over an hour before. She'd tossed, she'd turned, she'd begged for sleep to claim her. Anything to keep her from hearing his screams. From seeing the flames lapping at him. From feeling this pain.

Daniel was dead, killed on their last mission. She'd seen it with her own eyes. They'd all seen it.

The thick darkness that had settled over the room since she'd gone to bed was threatening to suffocate her. Sam threw out her arm, almost too brazenly, to turn on the light. The lamp rocked, but she caught it and succeeded in clicking it on. Light filled the room as Sam sat up, tossing her covers to the side in frustration.

"Mroooww…"

Sam frowned at the strange sound. It seemed to have come from beneath her comforter. She yanked it back over her legs, and had she been in a better mood, she would have laughed at what she saw.

Her eyes were on Schrödinger, who had been rudely awakened by her turbulent actions. His ears were perked high into the air, twitching ever so slightly.

"Oh, Schro." The orange tabby's green eyes stared intently at her. "I'm sorry." Sam ran her hand along his smooth fur, as if to apologize. The cat gladly accepted this appeal for forgiveness, rolling onto his back so she could rub his stomach. Sam freely obliged.

At times she didn't feel she was much of a pet owner. She was gone quite frequently and couldn't always give him the time he deserved, but Schrödinger had been a stray in need of a home. At first, Sam had refused to even consider keeping him. She'd always had crazy hours, since even before SG-1. However, the homeless cat had been persistent, hanging around her house for days. Sam had finally caved in to the ginger feline and opened her home to him.

Whenever she was offworld for an extended stay, Janet would drop by and feed him. Before the good doctor, her neighbor had taken on that responsibility. Schrödinger had become quite the plump housecat. He was a good companion. He was always there to greet her when she came home; he helped make her time there less lonely. He was also good to talk to. She talked to her plants, so why not her cat? He listened. Sometimes he even talked back.

Sam made a slight clicking noise with her tongue and Schrödinger was in her lap in an instant.

"We lost Daniel."

Sad blue eyes met green, and the cat mewed, almost sorrowfully.

"Yeah. You know, the one with the glasses? He's been here before. You rather liked him."

Schrödinger had easily taken to Daniel that day, following him everywhere. _Everywhere_. Her teammate had even been good-natured enough to let the animal march right after him into the bathroom.

"I just can't sleep. I keep seeing him." Schrödinger blinked in return, then yawned heavily, displaying his sharp teeth. Maybe sleep would be worse, Sam considered. The possibility of nightmares was very real tonight. "You'll keep me company, right?"

Schrödinger nudged his head against her chin, and Sam broke.

"We lost him, Schro," she began to sob. She held Schrödinger tightly against her chest, but he didn't seem to mind.

Sam could vividly remember her shock as they'd raced back to the gate, stumbled into the gate room, and throughout Janet's exam. She'd only been on SG-1 for a matter of months, and she'd already lost her first teammate. Sam had lost friends before, but this was different, unlike anything she'd ever experienced.

_The fire, the screaming…_

She shook her head violently, attempting to push the horrifying images away. These things in her head, the loss of Daniel…was this what it took to explore the galaxy? How long could she continue to do this? What if she lost the colonel? Or Teal'c? Sam buried her face into Schrödinger's burnt orange coat. She couldn't quit. Daniel wouldn't want her to. She didn't want to. But this was hard, _so_ hard.

Sam cried until the hairs against her face began to tickle. She lifted her head away, wiping at her nose and cheeks. Upon looking down, she could see the wet spot she'd left on her cat's fur.

Schrödinger twisted his head around to look at her. "Meow?"

Sam let a sad smile cross her face. "Thanks."

The tabby leaned forward, licking at her salty cheeks.

"You like that? Silly cat." She gave him one last squeeze, then released him from her grasp. The cat settled comfortably in Sam's lap, beginning to purr. He was so happy…so content. Everything she wasn't.

Daniel was gone. They'd just had the memorial and wake. Tomorrow they would go clean out Daniel's apartment. She knew he was really gone, but she couldn't deny that underneath all her feelings of loss, she somehow felt he wasn't. It was a crazy notion, probably brought on by her inability to fully grasp Daniel's death and to let him go.

At least that's what she told herself.

Sam sighed, looking down at her blissful cat, who clearly had no worries. "Why do I feel Daniel's a bit like Schrödinger's cat? Both dead and alive at the same time?"

Schrödinger didn't answer this time, but rested his head on her knee. Sam sniffed lightly, deciding to let him be. Oh, to have the simple life of a cat.

If she did, maybe she'd be sleeping tonight.

End.

A/N: Special thanks to my own four-legged friends. One is making little noises in his sleep as I type...I wonder what he's dreaming about! Thanks for the inspiration, Shadow and Nia!


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